What If You’re Already Tired Before The Holidays Begin?

I was getting ready for bed recently and shared something with my husband that I’d thought about since the summer.

“I need to pause. I just need a few days or even weeks of doing…nothing.”

It came as no surprise to him. In late August I lost my dad after a long cancer battle. I also went to work 35 hours later.

My “bereavement time,” was lodged somewhere between 20-minute lunch breaks and late night doom-scrolling after full days of gig work, product crafting for my business, school carpooling, sports practices, and figuring out dinner.

In a big way, my life is no different than many other working moms who have unfortunately lost a parent, yet are still simultaneously expected to pick up the ball and keep moving in our non-stop world.

As a small business owner, who at this stage supplements my income with occasional part-time work, taking a pause from it all financially feels more stressful than relieving. But in my soul, I know that taking some sort of break is very necessary.

Especially as the holidays come close and demands increase—from maximizing peak buying season as a business owner to planning meaningful family time.

There is a balance that I’m seeking.

Yes, we live in a capitalist society that doesn’t pause for anything, including death.

Yes, I’ve made certain lifestyle choices, like being an entrepreneur, a wife and mom, all roles that I love, also titles that come with a lot of responsibilities.

Yes, this year has been challenging for me and I’m actively processing it all. From grief, to work, to family, to health, to rest, to reclaiming joy, and balancing it all.

So, yes…I am tired.

Fall leaves

Oftentimes during the holidays we feel like we should have more energy to give, make more memories, sell more, buy more, and do more.

But, no: Not this year. I’m at capacity.

I’ve been going at a fast pace and in a constantly productive state for longer than I care to admit. My body and soul are begging me to slow down, be more still, and get deeper rest.

This is exactly how I met burnout before. It was the reason that I started my business, Mommafied, a plant-based bath, body, and sleep brand that evolved after my daughter noticed that I wasn’t getting enough rest during the pandemic.

Tricia Hersey, Creator of The Nap Ministry explains the fullness of my tired experience:

“We exist in a culture that supports sleep-deprivation; we have been brainwashed by capitalism to work at a machine-level pace, and to equate our worth with how much we can produce. The same engine that drove millions of enslaved people into the forced terror of brutal labor on plantations is the same engine driving grind culture today.”

Hersey explains that “rest is a form of resistance because it disrupts and pushes back against capitalism,” which can feel foreign to us because of how we’ve been programmed. Her perspective is key, as it not only speaks to the parts of us that are physically tired, but also gives context as to why many of us are mentally and emotionally tired, too.

Instead of pushing through or piling on wellness rituals that feel more like chores than healing, it’s important that we ask ourselves: What do I actually need right now?

For me it’s rest and space. Rest can include more sleep, giving ourselves space to feel what we’re feeling, permission to ask for help or let go, or returning to small things that bring us comfort or joy. As Tricia Hersey declares:

“Our collective rest and radical care will save us and will be the foundation for a new world rooted in liberation for all.”

With the holidays approaching, I think we could all benefit from a fall energy check. Just a moment to pause, take inventory on the fullness of this year, and make room for ourselves. Here’s a few guideposts:

“Our collective rest and radical care will save us and will be the foundation for a new world rooted in liberation for all.”

~Tricia Hersey, The Nap Ministry

1. Start With an Honest Check

How are you doing, really?

Sometimes we don’t realize how much we’re carrying until we finally sit still long enough to notice.

Our first assignment is simply to notice without feeling compelled to fix it.

We can acknowledge that we’re tired or that something feels off or hard.

We can recognize that our capacity feels different now than it did a few months ago.

Awareness is a significant place to start.

2. Five-Minute Energy Audit

Once we’re aware, reflection has room to grow. Start with these three questions:

What’s draining me right now? What can wait? What would help me feel supported?

After answering these questions, try choosing:

One thing to release.

One thing to cancel or postpone.

Or one thing to change

3. Think About Your “Not This Season” Agreements

Give yourself permission to opt out by deciding on your “not this season” agreements. They may include:

I don’t need to attend every gathering I’m invited to.
I can take long breaks during this season without explanation.
I don’t need to make every celebration elaborate.
I can ask for help.
I can change a tradition if it no longer works for my family.
I can allow myself to experience joy and sadness in the same season.

4. Make One Small Promise to Yourself for the Rest of the Year

If making a list feels daunting, try making one small promise to yourself.

Use a sentence like:

For the rest of this year, I give myself permission to __________.

Maybe your answer includes:

~Rest without feeling guilty.

~Ask for help before I reach my limit.

~Make space for my feelings instead of pretending I’m fine.

~Spend less time trying to make everything perfect.

Pop the sentence on a Post-It and place it on your mirror, in your planner, or somewhere where it’s easy to see.

5. Turn off non-urgent notifications

This can be a tough one for parents, but being available to everyone at all times throughout the day can leave very little time to decompress.

Choose time during the day when you can silence notifications and let non-urgent requests wait until you’re ready to respond.

Start with a manageable window, maybe the first 30 minutes of your morning or the hour before bed, and protect it consistently.

6. Take accountability for your rest.

Today in the marketplace we have tons of amazing sleep tools at our disposal, (like our beloved bamboo sleep masks~shameless plug : ). But honestly none of that matters if we don’t take accountability for our rest.

This can mean being consistent about your bed time, setting a calendar reminder to rest, keeping a daily rest journal, or even having an accountability partner.

I know that for my fellow perimenopause cuties, consistent, uninterrupted rest can be tricky. That’s why maintaining a sleep routine is important, along with keeping tools like sleep masks, sleep pillows, digital sleep trackers, and sleep teas—close.

It’s also essential to decide what type of rest you need: physical, mental, or social rest, and make adjustments from there.

Embrace A Season of Softness

As we move toward the end of the year, remember to do so with care. If you’re at full capacity consider slowing down so that you enter the new year with softness.

We don’t have to wait until January to take better care of ourselves. We can start with small adjustments today.

At Mommafied, we believe that care doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes all we need is a soothing sleep routine that includes a warm shower, applying soft lavender body butter on our hands and feet, and capping off the night with a delicate sleep mask.

A calming scent, a nourishing ritual, and the simple decision to let the day be done. We deserve a few moments of comfort in the middle of everything.

This year, before you start making holiday plans with everyone else in mind, check in with yourself.

How are you doing, really? What type of rest do you need? What can you release this season to show yourself care?

Let that be enough for now.

Thanks for reading! For more resources for busy moms who want to lead healthier, plant-based lives: Follow us @getmommafied on Instagram, Substack, and subscribe to our bimonthly Mommafied Note.

What If You’re Already Tired Before The Holidays Begin?

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