Mother’s Day & Weathering: Choosing Rest Over Perfection

The Next Day…

A monthly column, by Gardenia Spiegel, explores timely themes through the lens of daily life, emotional resilience, and self-care.

Hey ladies! It’s Mother’s Day Weekend – we made it!

I will be sleeping in, taking my daughter to work, and then treating the two of us to a nice meal out. That’s all I got in the tank this year- and that’s enough.

I have stopped pushing myself to succumb to society’s marketing of what a ‘celebrated mom’ should want or be. I don’t need gifts, I just want some rest.

I don’t need a fancy, overpriced meal- I just want something tasty that I didn’t have to cook myself.

And I want a big hug from my daughter. And for her to know that I’m imperfect, that I’m doing the best I can, and that I will love her forever.

This Mother’s Day I accept all that I have been Weathering, forgive myself the blunders and missteps, and continue to cheer myself onto the next chapter.

Weathering is a term

Coined by Arline Geronimus, which argues that ‘Black women’s health and aging have more to do with how society treats us than how well we take care of ourselves.’

Weathering is a term I came across a few years back, coined by Arline Geronimus, which argues that ‘Black women’s health and aging have more to do with how society treats us than how well we take care of ourselves.’

It struck a chord as I turned 50 and realized I was exhausted from simply being a Black woman in America for five decades.

It’s not just the name calling and overt racism, but the quiet moments of being overlooked in the checkout line at the grocery store, or told that maybe I shouldn’t try out for the lead in the high school play -why not work in set design? Or asked to step to the back of the fourth-grade class picture, because I’m kind of tall.

Fifty years of defending my existence.

And so, for this Mother’s Day, I accept that there has been an invisible system at work that I have been resilient against. I call it out every time I feel it, see it, and experience it. And I reward myself with consciousness, and pure defiance. My existence defies this invisible system every day. I honor myself by accepting I have a heavy load, but also, that I’m still here, and I can still experience joy- on my terms.

“And so, for this Mother’s Day,

I accept that there has been an invisible system at work that I have been resilient against. I call it out every time I feel it, see it, and experience it. And I reward myself with consciousness, and pure defiance.”

SO- sleeping in, an afternoon in service to my daughter fulfilling her goals, and a delicious meal that I didn’t cook. Happy Mother’s Day!

*This piece on Weathering is part of a larger series I am unpacking on Substack focusing on The Black Motherhood Penalty. You can subscribe here to join the conversation.

Hope this helps you get to the next day! See you next month-g

The Next Day is a monthly column written by Gardenia Spiegel that explores timely, thought-provoking themes through the lens of daily life, emotional resilience, and self-care—especially for busy women and moms. Gardenia Spiegel is a mother, writer, and creator of Black Girl Rising.

Mommafied is a plant-based blog + wellness shop, specializing in handmade bamboo sleep masks and aromatherapy pillows. We love helping busy women incorporate plant-based living and better rest into their daily routines. For more resources follow Mommafied @getmommafied on Instagram, on Substack, and subscribe to our monthly Mommafied Note.